SELF-TALK, Changing negative to positive self-talk

You need to be aware of the nature of your self-talk and be determined to shift any negative thinking to positive. This is not always easy as even though you will have a number of positive qualities you may struggle to recognize them and find it hard to give yourself credit for them.

Keep a diary for a week of any negative things you say to yourself.

After a week look back and see what sort of messages you give yourself. Would you say these things to a friend? We are often harder on ourselves that others. It’s time to be your new best friend and be kind to yourself. You need to start changing negative statements.

You should now be aware that negative thinking can lead to low mood, loss of motivation and that it contributes to negative unhealthy behavior - including in some cases offending.

Here are some methods which can help you to tackle your negative thinking:

1. Challenge your thinking: For each negative statement ask yourself these questions:
   • What evidence do I have for this belief?
   • What other explanations are there?
   • How likely is this to be the case?
   • If it concerned someone else what would I think?
2. Do something that will distract you from negative thoughts and feelings: This might be an activity or contacting a friend.
3. Positive re-framing: Try to find a positive aspect to the situation to focus on, rather than the negative. This is something we often do after a bereavement for example, remembering the positive life someone had rather than the loss.
4. Use positive language: If you constantly say “I can’t” you will convince yourself that it’s true. Replace negative words with positive ones.
5. Reflect on what has contributed to the negative thoughts and feelings: Positive thinking is not about denying that anything is or can go wrong. If something goes wrong then take the time to consider what went wrong in order to avoid future mistakes and look forward more positively.
6. Don’t be too hard on yourself: It takes time, practice and determination to change negative thinking and adopt a more optimistic approach.